med update of a sort

MORE RECENT UPDATES IN THE COMMENTS SECTION

Oct 23, 2008 12:44 PM

reminding me I have friends that want to know what is going on.

My prior absences have been due to HUBBY's ever fluctuating health

Marc has taken a few turns for the worse. He had emergency surgery a bit ago (I think I mentioned it) and the removed part of a strangulated bowel and strangulated hernia)
Just what a bleeder who won't heal needs- surgery-

I may have mentioned a nephew and his wife that was care giving for us? They decided to move on , and we hired a new caregiver J.. K (the nephew) was in the process of moving out of the cottage this month. K and J are like family, so J would go out and visit with K from time to time.

Monday 10/6 J (new caregiver also like family) came running in the house and informed us that K was not breathing and bleeding from the mouth. We did CPR but were unable to revive (I was on 911 call at the time) K died 10/7 @ 3am.

Marc's family went ballistic. The memorial was 10/11 I was instructed NOT to attend (the family has disintegrated)

Marc came home from the memorial a bit confused, but not bad. Every day since he has gone farther and farther into a coma-like state. Except he walks (paces almost all day and night) and drools and pees everywhere.Can't be trusted with anything in the kitchen and thinks he is perfectly fine.
He is very resistant to any assistance, even when he really can't do something (I am so tired of getting peed on)
I finally got 5 hours of sleep last night (after about 4 days of none) when he laid down and slept.--hooray for that--
This morning he is no better and I am waiting for a call back from his Dr to see if there is any help available for me since 2 people can't take care of him 24/7 and I can't afford a third.

I may have to put him in a secure living arrangement until he "comes back" as he has done many times over the years.

I don't know if I can even get him in one and I'm not sure if medicare will pay for it so..................



extra bit.

you may recall Brian ws our caregiver for a long time and he died in our home a few years ago-we found him and did CPR then too. (brain tumor) seems it's bad luck to try to take care of Marc, (attempt at humour)


Ask any questions you like- it seems to help

He is in end stage liver failure. But the "losing his mind" part has happened many times over the years. never lasted this long before though. Not sure why it happens Dr doesn't know either.
We have a meeting with his Dr next Friday (if I make it that long) to evaluate Marc.
I don't know what my choices are and his family is no longer involved in his care so we muddle through.

Oct 24, 2008
today's development

Marc found the truck keys (how the f*** did that happen?) and was out in the truck and had it started before someone caught him and stopped him!

J ("caregiver") seems to have run away from home?

I made him mad last night when I told him he wasn't taking this seriously enough. that and he let Marc have his pill container (which holds his meds for the day- separated into 4 doses-) at 2 pm yesterday-
keep in mind he was told specifically not to let Marc have the pill thing -just the pills when he was supposed to take them--- I get home and no-one knows where the container is- which had the 8 pm meds and the 2 am meds in it............................
..........Including 2 100mg Morphine pills-- just what I need floating around the house!

Oct 27, 2008

Sunday was a pretty good day- I got Marc into the shower (really needed that) and he ate some food. we even had a conversation of sorts.

This morning he is back to the previous state, (and a mess again) and now he won't even co-operate and take his meds.- he had been doing that at least.
I'm in contact with his Dr and we will see what he has to say. I am hoping to get him in before Friday, but I'm not sure that is going to happen.


I told my boss that I might have to take some time this week if my son can't handle taking care of Marc by himself. The boss and his brother both asked me why I didn't commit him over the weekend (so sensitive they are)

Thanks for the thoughts. I am trying to find resources here, but we are a long way from the city-which narrows my options.

They were more concerned that I would miss work than having him committed for my best interest. (couldn't see the doc on the weekend)

I have an appointment with Marc & his DR tomorrow 130 pm . I think his doc will admit him to the hospital for observation.

We'll figure the rest out from there.
I'm looking forward to having him out of the home.

He scares M (our daughter) - her and her dad used to be best friends now he's a weird man to everyone.

I called Marc's mom to let her know what was going on and she was not as supportive as she could have been. Somehow when I said I couldn't take care of Marc she quipped back that I had always had someone else do it for me. I have always pulled my weight in that department. AND he has never been this bad for this long.


She has no idea how many nights I've gone without sleep and went to work the next day. (no one else volunteered)

Turns out the J tells people that I kicked him out-- really why on earth would I do that? we had a disagreement and he ran

Oct 28, 2008 3:53 PM DAMN

We had our 1:30 appointment with Marc's Dr today. Marc decided to 'come out of the fugue' just enough to talk to his doc. Marc had put clean clothes on himself as well. The charade was lost when Dr examined Marc and we discovered he was still wearing his urine soaked sweats under his clean pants.

After 2 hrs of talk etc it was determined that there is no reason to admit Marc at this time. He has been given a warning from his doc and me that if he 'checks out' like this we will have to put him somewhere. I have some people I can call to 'assist' occasionally (they won't be able to do anything either but oh well)

So the roller coaster ride continues.

We are trying some new meds that might help Marc calm down and sleep through the night (hope they work!)

My son is the only help I have right now (he recently returned from basic training)

Oct 29, 2008
las night we talked very little, but he did take his meds and eat some dinner.
about 9 pm he slid back into his fugue. I napped for a few hours while Karl watched Marc, about 3 am Marc came in the bedroom and peed in the garbage can so I knew it was on again.

He just paces from one end of the house to the other, our bedroom through the living room through the kitchen and back to M's room. When M is in there I have to block the door (physically) to keep him form going and sitting on her bed (he scares her)

Every 5 minutes from 3 am til 530 am (til he knocked me out of the way and went in- so I woke M and put her on the little couch with me)

K was unhappy when I woke him at 730 to take over but he is being really good about it. -He expected Marc to drop back into his fugue- That is why we were disappointed that Dr R didn't admit him for tests or something!

I have a list of people to contact (per Marc's doc) but so far I've called 3 and they can't help me. The one place says it's medical not mental so they could not clear him physically to be admitted to their facility.
Hospice says he hasn't been given 6 mo or less to live so they are out of the loop til then.

i cried when no-one could tell me who to call

Oct 29, 2008 4:04 PM
it was so frustrating that Dr sent Marc home with me instead of atleast admitting him for observation.

One full day and they would have the information that I have been giving them verified.- since the bugger perks up whenever I take him in.

I'll try again to get the doc to atleast admit him to the regular hospital for observation and blood tests. It is all I can do right now it seems.

I have a list of in-home caregivers certified by the state.
I will try to contact them to see if they can help us out soon.

Not sure how that works but I keep trying.

This gives me a place to vent (and document) this ordeal.

Oct 30

This is helping, just writing it down where someone might read it (funny that)

I got home from work (yesterday) to find Marc had been in bed asleep since about 10 am I tried to wake him but he would not respond. the medication I gave him Tuesday night could make him sleepy for 16 hours and he was breathing so I left him alone and took the break we all needed.
A family friend was at the house and offered to take the night shift so we could all get some sleep (what a lovely man)

Michelle pushed me off the little couch about 10 pm so I was sleeping on the floor right next to the couch. at 3 am (see a pattern here) Marc got up and walked on me(I was well out of the way)- and fell on his backside next to his chair.
F helped Marc into his chair and assisted in putting his feet up. Marc went back to sleep and was still there when I left at 730 am today (Thursday)

The last time Marc ate/drank/or took any meds was 1100 pm Tuesday 10/28.
I think I have enough to get his doctor to admit him to assess his health with this-I'm going to try.
Hugs to my supporters

I just got a phone # for Sr & Disabled- this might be the beginning fo help for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!